Taking Chances
by tvfan22
Summary: Takes place after Royals and Loyals. Tony and the team finally meet Ziva's mystery man. Will Tony finally tell Ziva how he feel or will he lose her forever? Epilogue if you want.
1. Chapter 1

Taking Chances

A/N: I know I should be working on family but I'm stuck and am currently not getting too much inspiration. This popped into my head randomly and it just came out of me. I rather like it and I hope you will too. Review!

Disclaimer: I can't say that I own it.

It was late November and we were finishing up work at the office.

"yes I know. I am excited too!" she smiled. "I will be there to pick you up bright and early. I..." she glanced over at me but I looked back at my computer screen pretending like I wasn't listening but really, my ears were on fire. "I love you too." and she hung up.

She had a broad smile on her face and my heart broke. She loved another man. One she had only met a few monthes ago and seen all of twice.

"was that the Mystery Miami Man?" I asked nonchallantly. I knew damn well who it was before she even picked up because she smiled at the caller I.D. and sneaked a peak at me.

"yes." she said as she gathered up her things from her desk. "he is flying in tomorrow morning."

"oh, well that's nice." was all I could think of to say. She gave me one of her slightly narrowed eye stares but I just smiled what I hoped looked like a genuine one.

I wanted to meet the guy but then again I didn't. I wanted to, to make sure he was a good guy and good for her. But that scared me. What if he was better for her than me? What if... No! Stop! If she's happy, I'm happy. And I really did want her to be happy, but...not with another man. But we could never be because of rule 12. But the only person I could picture getting married to or having kids with was her. And it killed me inside to imagine her doing any of that with someone else.

"we are all going to that new pizza place on 4th street tomorrow night so he can meet everyone. You may come if you like." she said. But her expression puzzled me. It was like she wanted me to go but then again she didn't and she thought it would be akward. It probably would be considering what happened with her last boyfriend but he was using her. Different circumstances. But really I knew that I would've done everything I did even if he hadn't been using her and it was all part of her sick father's plan.

"uhm, I..have a date actually." I lied. I hadn't had a date since before the whole Rivkin thing happened. Sure I had some little flings but they weren't 'i'm looking for a committed relationship' dates.

"oh, that is good yes?" she smiled. It didn't look right.

"oh," I squirmed slightly uncomfortable and tried to look happy but I think I just looked akward. "yeah, it's uh..been a little while." I finally said.

"well good for you." she said. "way to get back on the mule."

"horse." I actually really smiled. I actually loved how she screwed up her idioms. I wondered if she knew that the reason I fell off of the horse wad her 'dying'. Well really it was before that but that really just pushed me down further.

"same thing." she smiled back and this time it looked real. She took her bag and slung it over her shoulder. She turned out her light and left.

I was the only one left in the bullpen. It was pushing 10:00. My lone, little light was the only one on in the big room. Today's case was difficult. It started at the beginning of the week but today was the day that we had to inform the wife of the sailor that he had tried to smuggle stolen money aboard a ship and that he had murdered 3 people. She had no idea. It made me wonder how you could be so close to someone and think you know everything but really know nothing.

It made me think of Ziva. I knew a lot about her yet, when I thought about, I barely knew her. I knew her tendancies, her humor, her weak spots, her 'unspeakable' topics, but that was it. Just something you know about a coworker but maybe a little more. Most was guesswork by the way people reacted to her. Like her father. Obviously, they weren't on very good terms. She had said it maybe once but only that his opinion didn't matter to her and they obviously haven't really talked since we brought her back.

What puzzled me though was one of the very first things she told me. I barely knew her yet she spilled one of her darkest memories and secrets to me. Her sister Tali. She was killed in a bombing. They were close. She loved her very much and her life was taken at 16. That was all. But she hasn't told anyone else to my knowledge. It made me wonder if she told Miami guy. I didn't even know his name. All I new was that it started with an R. She had a Roy. Maybe a Robert, or a Randy. Maybe Remmy, or Ryan. I didn't know but none sounded very good with Ziva.

Why was I even this interested? I didn't know but my gut told me I was lying to myself. Why kid myself? We could never be together. We fight all the time. I still don't think she completely trusts me. Why would she ever want to be with someone like me?

I pushed the thoughts from my head. No use fretting now if the guy wasn't even here yet. I packed up my things and got into the elevator.

I walked to my car and got in but I didn't start the engine. I sighed and leaned my head back on the headrest. This was crazy. Why couldn't I just stop thinking about all of this?

I went by the store and grabbed beer and frozen pizza. It was sad that my Friday nights had come to this. I used to have dates or, when Gibbs retired, movie nights with Ziva. It was good. I was happy.

I went home and tried to find a movie in my massive collection. I picked 'the sound of Music'. Her favorite. I ate the pizza and drank a couple of beers. I couldn't pay attention to the movie. All I could think about was her. I felt a sense of uncertainty but I didn't really know about what. I mean, what didn't I know about Ziva? Except maybe...my feelings. I had never really felt this way about someone. It was more than Jeanne. I would take a bullet for her. Heck! I went halfway around the world to save her from a terrorist even though there was a really good chance that she was dead.

But what did Ziva really mean to me? That last question swirled through my head as I slowly drifted into an restless sleep.

"mmmhh." I groaned as I rolled over on my bed only to find a warm body next to me. She then groaned and rolled in closer to me. She put 1 hand on my cheek and the other on my chest. I tangled a hand in her hair and put my other hand on the small of her back, pulling her in closer.

"Good morning my little hairy butt." she smiled as she rose up a little and leaned in. Our faces were almost touching.

"Good morning, Sweetcheeks." I smiled back. Her warm breathe on my skin sent warmthe throughout my whole body.

"Did you have a nice nap?"

"not until about 45 seconds ago when I found you next to me. Zee-Vah.

" I smirked.

"did you have a nice nap?" she said again.

It was like I hadn't spoken.

Suddenly Ziva's voice changed. It was deeper and oddly familiar. Then I felt a stinging sensation on the back of my head. I was in the bullpen, at my desk. I jolted up.

"Rule 12 DiNozzo." Gibbs said with a stone stare. "and if I find you asleep again then your head won't be the only thing hurting." with that he walked back up to MTAC.

McGee was staring at me sadly.

"what are you looking at McEavesdropper?" I said. I was embarresed.

"You should tell her Tony." McGee just said.

"tell her what?" I laughed and tried to pretend that whatever he was thing was wrong.

"that you love her."

"who?"

"Ziva."

"psshh..yeah right! Me love Ziva! Leave Mr. Gemcity at home tomorrow McFiction." I said with a fake smile and went back to checking my email.

"I'm serious Tony. It's like everyone can see it but you two. I mean, Come on! Even Gibbs sees it!" McGee throwing out a hand for emphasis.

I didn't know what to say. I think I really did. It felt good to admit it to myself but...what now? She wad with Miami man now. She seems really happy. I can't destroy that for her like I did with Rivkin. That was a ticking time bomb anyway but still...

He just gave me a sort of sympathetic look. "you need to tell her Tony."

"I...no! I mean there's no way she would feel the same way. If," I caught myself. "I was in love with her."

"which you are and she's in love with you." he said.

"alright." I said getting up. We only had to come in on a Saturday because we had some paperwork that needed to be finished. "I'm going for a run."

"I'm serious Tony. Just think about it. Go over everything that's happened to you guys. There's no way you would even talk to eachother or one of you even be alive if there wasn't something really there." he stressed the really part which I guess had the desired effect because i think there is something really there.

I decided to do something a little crazy.

"hey Ziva." I said nervously.

"Tony?" she said.

"uh yeah I just wanted to see if that invitation was still open for later."

"of course." she said.

"ok then I'll see you there." I said. She was about to hang up.

"and Ziva?" I caught her.

"yes Tony?"

"I..nevermind. See you tonight."

I sighed and hung up. I was so close to telling her that we needed to talk but I just couldn't.

I went home and changed clothes. Thoughts of what could happen if I did tell Ziva swirled through my head.

I started my iPod and started running. I just needed noise because if I had too much silence in my head right now, I would way overthink everything. Except I probably would anyway.

I started to really think about what McGee said. I remembered when we first met, we already had the sexual tension. We were definitely attracted to eachother, but then it was only physcal. We got to know eachother and we were freinds. When Gibbs left for a summer, it was heading towards something more but we were taking it very, very slow. Then Gibbs came back and I went undercover. She was worried about me. I should've seen how much she really cared. Jeanne distracted me. She tried to help me the whole way through it but I kept turning away. Then when I got my heart broken, she tried to help me again but I wouldn't let her. It was stupid of me. Then we were ok, we were working friends but nothing more. Then, Jenny died. It was a weight we both carried which offered a little comfort to me. Then she was gone. Vance broke up the team. I did a lot of thinking as agent afloat. I think at one point I did realize that there was more to our relationship, or rather there could be. But then Rivkin. I was almost obsessed. I had to know that she was ok and I knew Rivkin was bad. When she stayed behind in Israel, she was right. She had been betrayed but not by me. I still think I was helping her, even if I hurt her in the process. I could barely function when she left. I drank a little too much. After she didn't contact anyone, I became obsessed with finding her. Then when she 'died' I wanted to die too.

I sort of went crazy. Those few monthes were by far the longest I had ever experienced but it seemed to go by fast as well. But mostly just becaused it was tw same thing everyday. There was nothing memorable about. At least in a good way. Wake up, go for a run, go to work, come home, order takeout, and go to bed. That was it. It's all I could do. I thought about her constantly. What I had done to her. I blamed myself for her death.

Then I needed revenge. That blood lust consumed me. I had to kill the bastard that killed her. I didn't care if I died in the process. Then when we found her alive. I could barely breathe. My life had revolved around her for almost the last 6 monthes and there she was. Then when I told her 'I couldn't live without you, I guess.' I realized my feelings for her again but they were soon put on the back burner when we were just getting used to eachother again. When we went to Paris, we slept in the same bed and we finally talked a little more about Somalia. I held her as she tried to fight off the nightmares which seemed to work. Then when we were almost back to normal, of course, she finds a new guy.

I don't know how long I was running for but I was exhausted. I sat down on a bench in the park I found myself next to. I looked over the man-made lake just letting the sun's rays wash over me as I caught my breathe. Then I saw them. Ziva and Mr. Miami Heat. They were walking hand in hand on the sidewalk around the lake. They were smiling and laughing. He wasn't a bad looking guy. He had medium brown hair and a nice smile. He was tall, with broad shoulders. His skin was fair. He looked slightly familiar but I pushed that fact out of my head. I didn't trust myself not to haul off and slug the guy so I got back up and kept running. I glanced back and she was looking at me. She smiled and waved. I don't know why but I didn't know what to do so I turned away and kept running.

I walked aimlessly around town before returning home.

I walked into my bedroom and almost jumped out of my skin. I couldve sworn I saw Ziva standing by my bathroom door. I was losing it as I was losing her.

A/N: review! 1 chapter more! Then maybe an epilogue.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

I took a shower hoping to clear my head but everything was still a mess. I put on a pair of jeans and a nice button up. I was nervous. Anthony DiNozzo was nervous and I wasn't eve the one going out on a date. I drove to the pizza place to find everyone already there.

They were sitting at a large table and they were all laughing. Miami had his arm around Ziva. I felt anger surge through me but I recovered. I was here for Ziva. To make sure he was ok.

"nice of you to finally join us DiNozzo." Gibbs said as I sat down at the only empty seat which happened to be right across from Ziva.

"uh, yeah I was running and lost track of time I guess." I said.

"Reid." the man next to Ziva said, extending his hand to me. Everyone was watching as I shook it and put up my best smile.

"Tony." I said.

"yeah I've heard so much about you from Ziv." he smiled. He already had a pet name for her. It wasn't like ours that actually had backstory.

"Oh yeah good old Ziv." I said under my breathe with a fake smile as I picked up my menu.

We all ordered our drinks and there was light conversation. I didn't trust myself with alcohol at that moment so I stuck with a coke and steak.

"so Gibbs, Ziv told me that you built boats." Reid said.

Gibbs just nodded.

"well, I used to sail a bit when I was kid. I actually built my own boat with my uncle when I was about 13." Reid smiled. "a little amigo kit."

"no kidding." Gibbs smiled. I wanted to throw up as they began talking about their boats.

I sat quietly as he talked to McGee and Abby about computers. He was charming. Too charming. They were eating it up.

Finally he came to me.

"so Tony, Ziv tells me you're quite the movie buff." Reid said.

Again everyone quieted and was listnening to us.

"oh yeah, I haven't seen many new ones lately." I said.

"well that's too bad. Ziv and I watched Mr. & Mrs. Smith when we first met in Miami. Her favorite." he added and winked at her. She just smiled.

He was charming but wrong. I knew Ziva's favorite movie.

"yeah, kinda reminds me of when we were undercover huh sweetcheeks." I said and smiled at Ziva but I immediately regretted it. I wasn't trying to break them up no matter how badly I wanted to.

"yes. Tony that was similar except we were on the same team." She said with a firm voice and gave me a look telling me that was a bad topic.

"that's true." I said.

"and Ziva also told me how loyal you are." Reid said as he took a sip of his beer. "going all the way around the world to avenge her death even if you were probably going to die."

I looked at Ziva and she looked at me. We just stared at eachother while he talked. I knew we were both remembering our reunion.

"even though it was kind of your fault she was there." he finished.

McGee choked on his breadstick in shock. Abby patted him on the back and was still looking at Reid.

"I mean, you pretty much gave her no other choice but to stay in Israel." he said looking at everyone else for support but got none. They saw how I was when I thought she was really gone forever. They saw how close I was to really losing it.

"it's complicated." I said softly.

"Tony was not the reason I was...there." she said. "it was my father who did that part."

"oh well, yeah about my first point." he said. He realized he had put his foot in his mouth. "that takes balls. Thank you." he hugged Ziva closer to him with one arm and just smiled at me.

I was a little angry that I had decided against taking my gun.

"Just can I ask why? I mean I would've done the same but you guys weren't really on good terms and you still saved her." he asked.

I hesitated. The reason was because I loved her and I couldn't live without her but I wasn't about to tell him that.

"Well, Ziva and I had worked together for 4 years. She knows me better than anyone else. She tried to protect me from getting hurt so many times before, I tried to do the same but obviously it didn't really work out that well. I had kind of betrayed her with Rivkin but I was trying to help her. It was the least I could do." Ziva and I still hadn't broken eye contact. "I couldn't just move on knowing what I had done to her. It was kinda like my world stopped."

After kind of an akward silence Reid whistles low. "jeez it be good to have you on my bench I guess." he said.

"I don't know. I tend to miss opportunities a lot. Then I regret it and spiral out of control a little bit. Then when I can fix it I screw it up or I'm too late." I said still staring into Ziva's warm brown eyes.

Her face relaxed as my words sunk in. Abby was smiling so hard that it looked painful.

Just then the food came and the conversation was forgotten.

"so Reid tell us a little about yourself." Ducky said.

"well, I'm 32 and I'm a film amd theatre professor at the University of Miami and I used to play basketball there until I blew out my knee sophomore year." everyone had stopped eating and was looking from Reid to me. They were all thinking the same thing. This guy could be my twin. "my dad died when I was young and my mom and aren't that close. She worked a lot when I was a kid. I'm an only child so I was pretty lonely." he said as he took another drink of his beer.

"Well that's quite interesting, Anthony has quite a similar backstory." Ducky said. "he also went undercover a while ago as a professor of the same subject but only to get close to a girl."

Abby gave me a comforting smile as she saw how uncomfortable I was getting.

"Duck," Gibbs said trying to get him to stop.

He took the hint. "ah, yes well needless to say, it did not end well."

"the worst thing you can do is lie." Reid said and smiled over again at Ziva.

"tell me about it." I said. I couldn't take this anymore. The conversation wasn't that bad but I just couldn't see Ziva with another guy. He was alright as a guy but to me not so much but as long as he made her happy...

Everyone was done with their food.

"I'm gonna head out." I said placing a 50 on the table. "it's on me. See you Monday."

Everyone said their goodbyes. Reid stood up and once again extended his hand.

I took it and shook it firmly. "Handle with care." I said looking at Ziva. "Contents, Priceless."

I told her I would say it and I did. I really meant it.

"wait a sec Tony." Reid said as he got up and motioned for Ziva to do the same.

"that's exactly why I'm doing this." Reid said as he got down on 1 knee. "Ziva David, I know it's only been a few monthes but why wait. If anything, what you've told me about your life is that we shouldn't wait. Things happen and I want to always be the one to be there for you." he smiled up at her as he took her left hand. "Ziva David, will you marry me?"

I couldnt stay there. I turned away before I saw and heard anything else. I walked out to the chilly parking lot and got into my car. It seemed that the coldness outside was somehow seeping through the doors into my heart. Ziva was getting married and there was nothing I could do. It was like she died all over again. My world was at a stand still.

I started driving and I found myself by the park again. I parked and started walking along the sidewalk. It was chilly out but I grabbed an old sweatshirt out of my trunk. I was on autopilot. All I saw was her. I barely noticed when it started to snow lightly.

I sat down on the slightly wet bench but I didn't care. I felt tears well up in my eyes but I held them back. I had to be happy for Ziva. She needed family support. Suddenly every single lonely night that I spent drinking and crying over Ziva's death rushed back to me. All the pain was back. All the times where I thought about doing the unthinkable were fresh in my mind.

Suddenly I was not alone on the bench.

"Tony." I heard her voice. It sounded like it did when we first brought her back. Broken.

"Hey Ziva." I said slightly akwardly. "shouldn't you be having a celebratory bedroom party with your fiancé?" I didn't mean for it to sound so mean.

She didn't answer.

"Ziva I'm sorry. That was insens..." but she cut me off.

"I said no." she looked me in the eyes and I couldn't look away.

"what?" I was in shock. I was too afraid to believe it in case I was just hearing what I desperately wanted even if it wasn't true.

"I said no. To Reid about the proposal." she said again.

"Ziva, he's a good guy...you deserve to be happy." I said. I took her hand for support.

"no, he is a great guy. Quite a throw as you say."

"catch." I said without thinking. It felt good to correct her.

"but, what you said, and what he said, made me realize that I couldn't wait anymore. I was in love with another man. I almost lost him more times than I care to count. I..." she started to say but I stopped her.

I leaned in and kissed her. She hesitated at first but then kissed me back. She hesitantly put a hand up to my face and I cupped her cheek in mine. I felt her tongue dance across mine. I was completely lost in the kiss and then I pulled away.

"Ton..." she started.

"I love you Ziva. I've been in love with you for a long time, it's just taken me awhile to realize it." I said breathlessly.

"I love you too Tony." was all she got out until I kissed her again, this time with more hunger.

We just let the snow fall around us as we stayed in the moment that I never wanted to end.

Finally she pulled away. "what about rule 12 Tony?" she asked.

"I don't care Ziva. I can't lose you again." I said.

"you never really lost me Tony." she smiled.

"I felt like I did." I sighed a smile.

"Why don't we head home, it's cold." she suggested.

"good plan." I said. "what about Reid?" I asked once we started walking.

"he booked a flight home for tonight. He already left. He knew that I was in love with someone else." she said.

"McGee said it was obvious but I never saw it." I said.

"I told him after you left and I said no." she said.

"you said you weren't a fan of bondage." I said with a smirk as I rubbed my thumb lightly across her hand. "I didn't know you were serious."

"well, perhaps if it was to the right man." she smiled at me.

For once when a woman was talking about more than just a date next week I was fine. Heck! She was talking about marriage and I was fine with it. I actually felt anxious. I wanted to get married to Ziva right now. But for tonight, we were just going to enjoy being together because we could. No lies, no teasing, no hiding, and definitely no pretending.

I smiled down at her and saw her content smile. I wanted to wake up everyday and see that face. To feel that heartbeat against mine. And I knew that I would do anything to have that.

A/N: tell me what you think!


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